he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
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