I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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