why didn't you poke me back
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Green mimosas i think yes
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
