I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
