I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
