im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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