Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
