she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
