did you get engaged???
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Randomize
