I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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