are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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