you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize