I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
