These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
