everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
