i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
