Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.

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(650): View more from California

you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!

(1-650): View more from California

noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!

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(775): View more from Nevada

Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

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(940): View more from Texas

You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole

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(707): View more from California

You rang?

(405): View more from Oklahoma

Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.

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(407): View more from Florida

If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.

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(420): View more from

I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.

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(703): View more from Virginia

To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked

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