I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
