haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
