Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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