he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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