I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
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I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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