she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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