We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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