If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
