She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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