Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.