hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i already hear my dad disowning me
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.