Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.