that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
