Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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