MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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