whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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