you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
