She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
