the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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