Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
