I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wish i was in the wii world.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
