We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This is my gift to your gina
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
