sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
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Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
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He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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