i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
