So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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