My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
