Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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