a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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