i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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