Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
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