i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so let's talk penis.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
