PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
