We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
