32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
