We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
