Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
