Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
