we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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