So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
