think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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