D3 body, D1 cock
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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