It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just sucked dick on a ferry
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
