clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Someone signed my nipple.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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