i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
