just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
