Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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