Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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