i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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