we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
