I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
