Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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