I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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